Trying to make a better choice.

Whilst we can all agree that life is a struggle for the majority of people right now, I don't see much agreement on the why it's happening? This is a difficult topic to talk about as is how to improve physical and mental health!, from the physical the two are not connected but from the mental they are intertwined beyond separation!. I have witnessed someone who was given a couple of months to live, thriving 4 years later!, that is what I was seeing with my own eyes, so for me it happened, it worked! What helped him was a single choice, for him in those days he felt like options were running out, the options that were being offered didn't have any good things to look forward to, he was struggling on several levels, home life, work commitments, everyday hick ups became mountains of struggling, the image he had looked at was there everytime he closed his eyes. In the conversations we had through this time of his life were amazing, I was amazed how he had picked himself up and carried on living life, how he had started to enjoy the day and the little moments in the day, how in such a short period after the life changing news he was seeing results in scans, all from a simple choice and loving support, he made something positive out of devastating news. In the Upanishad there is a phrase that states " It is true the body is perishable, but with in the body dwells the imperishable self! " for me witnessing a friend go through all that he went through, I could see how strong someone's positivity was pulling the imperishable self through all that lay in his path, he is a character, once you meet him, you will never forget him. He recently went in for surgery, he now is on medication for the rest of his life.

I used to go for walks through the Yorkshire countryside, spoilt by the stunning views for miles around, I found it a therapeutic way of releasing my emotions , it worked for a while, many years infact went past with me speaking my fears into the wilderness. But even as I was going through, what I believed to be traumatic childhood experiences, I found a YouTube video on the Upanishad, whilst watching and listening I tried to understand in my heart, not just hearing the words, not just reading the letters but truly trying to feel the language, there are countless hours of emotional thoughts to be had from any given moment in time, and in one moment of time I was listening to a gentleman who was reading the Upanishads and he was explaining a process that took 101 years, and in summary it states " The body is subject to pleasure and pain, no one who identifies with the body can escape pleasure or pain!, those who know they are not just the body can pass pleasure and pain and live in abiding joy!". This wasn't the only time I had heard similar words, in fact in the bible Galatians 6:8 it reads "For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the spirit will from the spirit reap eternal life". It isn't to uncommon to stubble on information from different sources, that seem to also be found in the bible?. The bible itself has been altered by the Vatican to a point of taking books out to removing or changing the wording within the scriptures.

Trying to find advice or guidance has become more difficult over the past 3 years with all the crazy control of information or disinformation, and the only advise I would give to anyone who thinks they are getting the best advice, try and get the same advice from at least 3 different sources, it's a bit like getting a second opinion from a doctor, if a doctor struggles to give a diagnosis that doctor will run several tests to make sure! Whilst I was looking for answers to questions I often found myself reading several different books, watching different videos even listening to multitude of pod casts to try and help me make better choices within my everyday life.

Studies have shown that our environment can help us in so many ways, and also can equally cause us harm. We live our lives eating, drinking and thinking let us not forget breathing as it is important for us to help keep a functioning body?, it shocked me when a breathing instructor, making a YouTube video was saying that most people's breathing is in effect making them or keeping them in a drained and unbalanced state, which never helps when we have so much in life to keep us busy!. We all try and make time, and we all use the excuses of there not being enough time in the day, or we are too tiered and sometimes we just don't feel like it! I was recently reminded of when I was younger, to be doing something that I wanted to do, I was the first one up and out the door, I remember being so eager to go round my friends, to a special event, to a school fare, I was up with the sun, out of bed, dressed in record time, downstairs and ate my bowl of cereal, shoes on, coat on, snacks in the bag and out the door for quarter to five in the morning, banging on my friends door waking him up......... I must of not heard the bit about it not starting until midday! I can safely say, I didn't end up going with my friend, and yes after that incident, he wasn't my friend who I could see after school and definitely not before school. I would say that was a classic making a bad choice, and without giving to much away, there are many more examples I could share, but I won't.

We all have an abundance of possibilities to choose from, in any second of any minute in any hour throughout any week, month, year! And yet we just don't choose or are unaware there is a different choice open to us? I spent mylife not knowing there was other options, even sometimes unaware of how bad of a choice I did make. Throughout various scriptures and documented history from around the world, there are so many indications and preferences, and commandments to give us a clue, I like to live it a bit simpler, do no harm to others or yourself, treat others the way you would like them to be with you.

Whilst I was practicing all these things, and many more, I could see how difficult it was seeing my behaviours being played out, I was seeing how I was treating others, if that was the reason why they was treating me that way? I was going round and round and then, it felt like someone clicked the light switch, all be it a faint muffled shimmering light, I started seeing the circle I was helping to keep in place, I fell into a deep depression of self loathing hatred, it just helped confirm all the doubts in my mind, it was all my fault! This was the driving force behind me to try and be a better person, I couldn't ask anyone around me, they couldn't help me when their behaviour was the same as mine?

I changed a simple choice, to give something new a chance, in the late 1980's to early 1990's I started meditating, I started to be inspired to read more, and in those days, the freely available information was all in one place, the library and the library in town was much better than the one in school. When I look back at those times, I can see all the wrong choices and all the good choices and they are just that, choices! What was a good choice for me wasn't a good choice for others! I followed the advice I was reading and watching, and slowly with a bit off effort and some of that over eagerness mixed in with a bit stubbornness and constantly reminding myself, be mindful to others and myself. The shame, guilt, self loathing and even the depression was becoming easier, things changed.